But on Ashley Madison, things were more transparent and there weren't secrets surrounding sexuality — people went for what they wanted.
Still, she doesn't know if she'd recommend Ashley Madison or any other dating website to anyone else — but that doesn't make her the first habitual online dater to wish the process was less tedious.
Pam was surprised to find that on Ashley Madison, where she met two men with whom she had satisfying relationships, this was not an issue.
At first, Pam decided to set herself up on Ashley Madison, "partially out of curiosity and partially out of [a sense of] 'I have nothing to lose, no one knows who I am, so why not?
"The fact that I'm a woman and I have sexual needs — it was okay for me to come up and take ownership of it.
I was brought up in a circumstance where it would be very unladylike to act that way.
"At the end of the day, you're not being judgmental about why that person's on the website," Pam said.
My Single Friend was founded in 2004 by TV presenter and property extraordinaire Sarah Beeny, who is notorious for setting her single friends up.
Since then we've had amazing feedback from our site members and hundreds of happy couples who have got hitched, thanks to meeting on MSF!
'" She and the first single man decided not to take the relationship to the next level after a couple of months because of the man's issues with commitment.
"It had nothing to do with me," Pam said, "but we had a great time. We had great conversations and a lot of similar interests." They also shared some laughs over the fact that they'd met on Ashley Madison.