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) rather than making accusations (‘You’re having an affair’).

The first approach will provide information that might be useful for rescuing the relationship but the second only invites a counter-attack.

He is either in denial about the proper nature of this relationship or he believes that cheating involves having sex (or has persuaded himself their intimate contact was ‘just a kiss’ – so doesn’t count).

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Any body in the house might answer and everybody had a rough idea of each other’s friends and engagements.

Today, the message could be from work (who consider it fine to email at weekends and late at night), your bank confirming a new payment or a flirty text from a work colleague.